Texas...

I got back to Texas yesterday... I must say, it is just not the same anymore. It will take time for me to get used to things again.

Leaving the Pecks was the hardest thing ever. I said goodbye to the Capuanos on Wednesday night, it was so sad. Then I went over to the Pecks and said goodbye to the Pecks. Daria and Hunter just went to their rooms and cried and cried. It broke my heart. Terisa went to check on Hunter and talk to him and he just said "My Becca's leaving". It was so sad, but very cute that he said I was his Becca. Terisa was able to calm him down. I went and laid down with Daria and calmed her down. I just reassured her that I would be back and that she was my little sister now so I would always love her. I had to pinkie promise that I would come back and see her before she would calm down. I was very impressed with my ability to hold back the fact that I just wanted to cry and just be there for them as they were upset and hurting. The next morning I got up and helped them get ready for school, gave them all a hug and said see ya later. I still didn't cry, way amazing. Then Bruce gave me a hug goodbye because he had to go to work. That almost made me cry. I am going to miss that big guy, he was so kind and loving to me. The remainder of Thursday was spent with Terisa. Terisa is the most amazing person! We went in to Lihue to meet Kathy for lunch then went and ran some errands around Lihue. Then it was time for Terisa to take me to the airport. As we started to get close to the airport I just lost it. I was crying and crying, I couldn't stop. We got their and she parked the car to walk me in. She helped me check my bags and then gave me a hug. I was still crying, asking her to please not go over and over again. I still had almost 2 hours before my flight and I just wanted her to stay with me. She said it would be too hard because she would start crying and that would not be very good. So she left. I sat outside crying talking on the phone with Adam for like 10 minutes and then Terisa calls me. She was turning around to come get me. It was very cute that she turned around to come get me because I was so sad. We went and ran a few more errands in Lihue and then she dropped me off right before my flight. This parting was much better, I didn't cry at all. Her coming back to get me was very helpful. So, she leaves, I go through security and go to my gate. I board the plane and get into a little ball and cried the entire flight from Lihue to Honolulu... It was only a 25 minute flight, but it was still 25 minutes of crying. I got to Honolulu at 4pm and had to sit there until 9pm! 5 hour layover!!! I just hung out in the airport and talked on the phone and played on my computer. I called Terisa like 3 times during the duration of my layover... I was so sad. I boarded the 7 hour flight for Dallas and tried to go to sleep. Terisa gave me some medicine in hopes that I would pass out, however there was just so much turbulence and a screaming child that I didn't sleep very much. It was an awful flight actually... I landed, got off the plane and went to the baggage claim. There stood Erica and Michael, it was very cute how excited they were to see me. I feel bad because I was not quite as excited as they were. The shock of leaving Hawaii just hasn't gone away yet. Still today life just doesn't seem quite right. I just feel like something huge is missing, and something huge IS missing, the Pecks... I just spent the day hanging out with people yesterday. I called Terisa several times, it helps when I talk to her. She reminds me that it will all me okay and helps me keep it together. However, last night when I was laying in bed I called to say goodnight and I lost it for the first time since I left. I was just crying and crying. Terisa is so patient and kind, I really don't know what I would do if she were not this way. She just told me they all loved and missed me and everything would be fine. She also told me to go to sleep because I had pretty much been awake for like 36 hours and when you don't get sleep you get more emotional. So I cuddled up with all of my Peck stuff and went to sleep. By my Peck stuff I mean things that Terisa gave me of hers, like my pink blankie, my Jammie's and my socks. Just kind of comforting to have those things when I am so far away from them.

I miss everything about Hawaii already. I am having a hard time adjusting to the time change too. I didn't go to sleep until midnight last night, which is 8pm HST. I didn't wake up today until 10:30am, which is 6:30am HST. I've got to get back on track and stop being on HST. Hopefully tonight I can get to bed kind of early, then I will get up extra early to start the transition back to CST.

I really am going to have to get used to things here. I feel so out of everything. I have been gone for over 3 months! People here went on with their lives and have grown and changed. I was not apart of that change. I was over in Hawaii having my own growth and change. I'm a different person and I just need time to adjust to everything here.

I graduate tonight. 5pm. I am excited, yet kind of sad... If it were not for that stupid graduation I would still be in Hawaii. Terisa said if I didn't have graduation plans already made that she would have called and gotten my flight changed so I could at least stay through Christmas. So that kind of bums me out. However, I am excited that I get to walk across the stage and have that experience. I am also glad about dinner, I am having a dinner at El Guapos after graduation. It will be fun, tiring, but fun. It is weird to think that I will officially be UNT Alumni in just a few hours... Crazy! I wish the Pecks were here to see it.

Well, I guess since Hawaii is over this blog will no longer exist for update purposes. Thanks for keeping up with me over the duration of my time away from Texas.

Aloha for the last time...